Nightlife

Hollywood Celebrity Buzz

by Ross von Metzke
Wednesday Mar 9, 2005
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Housewives’ new gay gardener goes full-frontal

Ever since America saw him jump into a pool with Bree Van de Kamp’s son, all anyone in gay America can seem to talk about is Ryan Carnes. Keep talking, fellas, because if you happen to catch the quirky indy film Eating Out at a theatre near year this month, you’ll get to see a whole hell of a lot of Ryan … more specifically, every last inch.

“After my first full-frontal scene was over and done, my only hope was that I looked big enough,” Carnes told The Advocate. Pre order the DVD now, because I know that’s a moment you guys will want to savor forever.

And while Ryan is straight, with two gay roles into his career, the actor says he doesn’t mind playing gay for pay. “In my first film, I’ve done full-frontal, kissed a guy’s stomach and made out with two guys.” Well, next stop Bel Ami I guess.

Sheen returning to Party Boy ways?

I love a good, messy divorce… hell, who doesn’t, and the parting of Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen has all the makings of a Celebrity Justice spectacular gone wild.

Six months along with child, a 1-year-old daughter on her hip and the former Bond girl (you remember — she starred as nuclear physicist Christmas Jones, even though she came off as barely smart enough to balance a check book, in The World is Not Enough) is filing for divorce, citing the traditional reason, irreconcilable differences.

But Richards isn’t leaving quietly. She’s seeking sole custody of the kids plus spousal support, her own earnings “from and after the date of separation,” her jewelry and other personal effects and other miscellaneous items. Though Richards said in her divorce petition that she would allow Sheen visitation rights, her sudden departure from what many in Hollywood saw as Sheen’s first stable relationship begs implication that the self-professed former party boy might not be so rid of his old party ways.

The couple met while filming the comedy Good (straight to video) Advice and things got hot and heavy a year later when Richards guest starred opposite Sheen on Spin City. Sheen, whose days of cocaine and alcohol abuse, extravagant spending on strippers and violent brushes with the law are well documented, has yet to comment while Richards has neither confirmed nor denied rumors Sheen has taken up with old habits. Sit tight, gossip whores, because this one promises to be a smear job we wont soon forget.

That ain’t no MedAlert bracelet, Martha

By the time you sit down to read this column, Martha Stewart will be trudging around her sprawling Katonah, NY estate with a form fitting house arrest bracelet snuggly hugging her ankle. The entertaining guru left prison at 12am Friday morning in a motorcade for the airport — Destination? Her 143-acre NY estate, where she will spend the next five months.

Martha’s allowed to leave her home for up to 48 hours per week, most of which will be spent filming her new reality show for NBC, her version of The Apprentice. In the coming months, Martha faces the uphill battle of turning her multimillion-dollar company around. Stocks have steadily fallen since Martha’s conviction, but with five months couch time in her immediate future, provided Martha doesn’t kick her heels up and spend her days with Kelly Ripa, Barbara Walters, Susan Lucci and all the other faces of daytime, it should be a piece of cake for the bitch gay America loves to hate.

Advocate’s Anatomy of a Rumor

The Advocate couldn’t have planned for better publicity if they’d made up the rumor themselves. This is where a long ‘Hmmmmmmm?’ should pass through your minds. This week, The Advocate released its ‘Anatomy of a Rumor’ issue with Desperate Housewives’ Marcia Cross on the cover, tracking how a single post on a message board that Cross would be coming out in a future issue of The Advocate had spread like wildfire through the media until the actress was forced to defend herself on TV’s The View.

For anyone interested in how celebrity gossip and so called entertainment journalism stews in a Crock Pot just waiting to explode, grab a copy, because this is some interesting stuff. Marcia didn’t participate in the interview (time for another collective ‘Hmmmmmm?’), but the way the chips fall is still intriguing.

Cho me the tickets

Everyone’s favorite Asian-American kick in the pants is at it again, this time mixing political commentary with her typical, over the top sexual banter. Margaret Cho is officially on the road with her Assassins tour, playing dates across the United States before she heads off to Australia.

I’ve been a Margaret fan for years, but never more so than last year when, while expressing her anger for Bush prior to the election, a reputable San Diego hotel turned off her mic to express their disgust with her taste in humor. To add insult to injury, the hotel then stopped payment on Margaret’s check — a check she donated to an AIDS charity.

You know Margaret took them to town on her weblog and will continue to do so every day for the next three months as she tours the country. Ticket are available now through www.margaretcho.com

Well, that’s all for buzz, info and gossip this week. Check in next week, because I just have a funny feeling something big’s going to happen in our downtime. Until then, one person’s gossip is another person’s rent check.

I love a good, messy divorce… hell, who doesn’t, and the parting of Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen has all the makings of a Celebrity Justice spectacular gone wild.

Six months along with child, a 1-year-old daughter on her hip and the former Bond girl (you remember — she starred as nuclear physicist Christmas Jones, even though she came off as barely smart enough to balance a check book, in The World is Not Enough) is filing for divorce, citing the traditional reason, irreconcilable differences.

But Richards isn’t leaving quietly. She’s seeking sole custody of the kids plus spousal support, her own earnings “from and after the date of separation,” her jewelry and other personal effects and other miscellaneous items. Though Richards said in her divorce petition that she would allow Sheen visitation rights, her sudden departure from what many in Hollywood saw as Sheen’s first stable relationship begs implication that the self-professed former party boy might not be so rid of his old party ways.

The couple met while filming the comedy Good (straight to video) Advice and things got hot and heavy a year later when Richards guest starred opposite Sheen on Spin City. Sheen, whose days of cocaine and alcohol abuse, extravagant spending on strippers and violent brushes with the law are well documented, has yet to comment while Richards has neither confirmed nor denied rumors Sheen has taken up with old habits. Sit tight, gossip whores, because this one promises to be a smear job we wont soon forget.

That ain’t no MedAlert bracelet, Martha

By the time you sit down to read this column, Martha Stewart will be trudging around her sprawling Katonah, NY estate with a form fitting house arrest bracelet snuggly hugging her ankle. The entertaining guru left prison at 12am Friday morning in a motorcade for the airport — Destination? Her 143-acre NY estate, where she will spend the next five months.

Martha’s allowed to leave her home for up to 48 hours per week, most of which will be spent filming her new reality show for NBC, her version of The Apprentice. In the coming months, Martha faces the uphill battle of turning her multimillion-dollar company around. Stocks have steadily fallen since Martha’s conviction, but with five months couch time in her immediate future, provided Martha doesn’t kick her heels up and spend her days with Kelly Ripa, Barbara Walters, Susan Lucci and all the other faces of daytime, it should be a piece of cake for the bitch gay America loves to hate.

Advocate’s Anatomy of a Rumor

The Advocate couldn’t have planned for better publicity if they’d made up the rumor themselves. This is where a long ‘Hmmmmmmm?’ should pass through your minds. This week, The Advocate released its ‘Anatomy of a Rumor’ issue with Desperate Housewives’ Marcia Cross on the cover, tracking how a single post on a message board that Cross would be coming out in a future issue of The Advocate had spread like wildfire through the media until the actress was forced to defend herself on TV’s The View.

For anyone interested in how celebrity gossip and so called entertainment journalism stews in a Crock Pot just waiting to explode, grab a copy, because this is some interesting stuff. Marcia didn’t participate in the interview (time for another collective ‘Hmmmmmm?’), but the way the chips fall is still intriguing.

Cho me the tickets

Everyone’s favorite Asian-American kick in the pants is at it again, this time mixing political commentary with her typical, over the top sexual banter. Margaret Cho is officially on the road with her Assassins tour, playing dates across the United States before she heads off to Australia.

I’ve been a Margaret fan for years, but never more so than last year when, while expressing her anger for Bush prior to the election, a reputable San Diego hotel turned off her mic to express their disgust with her taste in humor. To add insult to injury, the hotel then stopped payment on Margaret’s check — a check she donated to an AIDS charity.

You know Margaret took them to town on her weblog and will continue to do so every day for the next three months as she tours the country. Ticket are available now through www.margaretcho.com

Well, that’s all for buzz, info and gossip this week. Check in next week, because I just have a funny feeling something big’s going to happen in our downtime. Until then, one person’s gossip is another person’s rent check.

Copyright Gaywired.com. Used by permission.

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